Date | Friday, 10 October 2025 |
|---|---|
Time | 1900 to 2130 |
Programme | Cucumber Circle |
Present | 6 participants |
Introduction
The Cucumber Circle is a learning community for non-violent communication and other peaceable ways of being. It is a community building effort where people come together as listeners, learners and labourers for a hospitable and enriching experience of giving and receiving. Sometimes, the circle also serves as a safe and supportive space for members seeking connection, understanding and perspectives.
Concepts & Practices Introduced
The Unbendable Arm – Differentiating Force and Power
Feeling our Way - Clarifying Control, Compliance & Concurrence in Connection
Fundamental Human Needs
The ABC of Listening to our Body – Awareness, Balance, Centring
A Reflection of Key Moments
After participating in a physical exercise how we may experience the difference between force and power, a participant wondered if both words were just synonyms, and she needed time to reflect on the difference that I was trying to convey. I was not quick enough to stay with the moment, or shall I say I did not assert my power as a facilitator to slow the pace of my programme for a possible learning moment not just for her but others in the class too. I allowed the force of the teaching agenda in my head to force its way through.
The power that I was advocating is characterised by a relaxed, open and inclusive presence where we find our body, mind and soul in harmony. The soul that I speak of here is the sum of our collective experiences that live within us from the moment we were born. Of course, we cannot remember or recall every experience but nonetheless, they have shaped us.
My teacher, David K. Weinstock says “Power is that which supports the significance of life itself.” However, a frequent experience with those in power has often been the forcefulness of their actions that are hardly in support of life. Thus, we avoid places, situations and relationships that stifle or suffocate us, and we find it difficult to differentiate between force and power.
The power to lead and the conditions that enhanced harmony was explored in “Feeling our Way,” the following exercise that called for gentleness and graceful movement. As a pair, we extended our arms and placed our palms on other’s. The one whose palm was on top led the way and both were mindful that the connection should only be a gentle touch and neither hand must attempt to hold on to the other even in the smallest way.
One participant shared that it was uncomfortable being led. It was not just during this exercise, but generally, she was not one to follow another easily. Spontaneously, I asked if she could practice with me and allow me to lead. As I did so, I sensed a minute twitch on her palm but otherwise I felt that we moved in sync. Importantly, her sharing got me thinking about the different aspects of this exercise and conditions that make for a harmonious connection, namely, Control, Compliance & Concurrence.
Concurrence is a harmonious connection resulting from the conscious acceptance of control and compliance in a relationship. It is not for us to say what amounts of control or compliance would lead to a harmonious relationship but for those involved to reach a concurrence that brings them life.
For peace, community and harmony,
Gerard
Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.
